“If you don’t know where you are going, how do you expect to get there?”
Basil S. Walsh
Life coaching uncovers your passions, strengths and talents along with discovering latent abilities that help you find potential. It aims to guide you to your purpose and encourages bettering yourself and creating equilibrium with life and work.
It centers on the here and now and what decisions can be made to transform the future. It has as focal points emotions, judgment, self-worth, and internal conversations and presents the coach and you entrust to deal with them.
It not only deals with communication it also is about how active you are with time, energy, finances, friends and associates.
Once discovering your passions coaching ministers to then probe and unblock negative self-dialogue that is holding you back and you and a coach work together to change the blockage and to define your true meaning in life.
A coach walks beside you and evaluates your personal abilities, individual strengths and talents giving you confidence to improve your life and the lives of others. A coach centers on the present and the future. They walk with their clients and examine the problem with the same insight and discover new ways within their client to do what is the most fruitful step.
In contrast if you like you could even see a psychotherapist who focuses on past matters that have led to actions that have taken place today and how you come to terms with them.
A life coach is not a therapist and does not have the same expertise. A therapist delves into the past and seeks the root of the problem but a coach walks beside the client and moves towards the future encouraging with compassion and empathy ways of transformation.
Holding you responsible for your actions is done by a coach by developing a plan, defining goals and supporting the journey. Allowing you to answer your own problems and to take charge for reaching goals, changing the cannot into cans.
A coach shows intention to show the next steps, safely encouraging fears and inhibitions to surface and not judging. It is vital that the coach keeps track of progress and organizes thoughts making the best decisions. A coach believes in your ability and walks side by side guiding you to take initiative. The coach sets steps with you and is accountable for your progress, continually encouraging you. You are validated for efforts in change and recognized accomplishments.
Being coached can help you go through the process of knocking down self-blockages and guide you to deal with stumbling blocks. The tools you need are found within you and are formed through your experience. This is what the coach uses to aid you.
A coach understands the process of recognizing limitations by identifying your faults. Faults can be rectified using the coach’s innate abilities to anticipate what obstacles follow and solutions that are available. Following this, the transformation of negative experiences diminishes and positive materialize.
The power of a coach is to uncover your deep rooted inadequacies along with their positive attitudes they uncover your faults. You learn to change your negative attitudes of self-talk and react to events more positively taking action towards reaching your goals.
By experiencing firsthand the effects of damaging language of doubt or criticism a coach can pick up on your reservations then steer you to change the cannot towards can statements and eradicate obstacles on the way.
A client, who’s hesitant to changing long lived negative habits, can lean on the coach who has gone through this process of healing. The coach uses empathy to face the darkness you feel and guide you towards self-discovery.
A coach helps in dealing with procrastination which is a paralyzing emotion that stops you doing something because it can be done later. The job is usually important but brings fear and pain. Most choose pleasure over pain so we postpone doing chores and do unnecessary chores instead.
The primitive part of the brain is pre-wired to avoid something it doesn’t like resulting in procrastination. However, the advanced part of the brain distinguishes events and chooses to act on them but finds it difficult fighting the innate which automatically responds to flight of the problematic tasks.
Postponing doing something like dealing with lawyers and asking for what is rightfully yours raises pain and the body connects the feelings with something more ferocious like a saber-toothed tiger and then responds to it with fear. Our heart rate and blood pressure rises along with adrenaline rushes and this leads to a fight or flight reaction.
The excuses people make for procrastination are similar to; fear of failure, success, not having enough information, the right skills, being a waste of time and missing out on something more fun. The underlined reason though for procrastination is fear.
I used to procrastinate on my institute’s organization. It was the issue of filing accounts, classes’ books, worksheets, files, resources along with my teacher’s book and receipt book. I just shoved the resources on a desk next to mine or on my desk. I found working stressful and difficult to go through the clutter when I needed something.
The cost of the clutter was suffering from headaches and certainly worn-out day in and day out. I found locating things for lessons difficult because they were buried under other resources which caused constant worry
When students entered the room they saw the resources spread around and felt it was not inviting and didn’t promote learning. Also trying to trace my receipt book or teacher’s book when parents came to pay didn’t look very professional.
Despite being difficult to change a habit I realized the problem would worsen if I didn’t focus and change behavior. I was guilty, yet I had to be fair to myself and praise my hard work every day “I am productive” not useless.” This helped me to get inspired to improve. A life coach will treat me with fairness and be compassionate and empathetic and I would want to change to please them.
The way this was corrected was to take it step by step, so first I put the material that needed to be put away on one desk. Next day I only put the books away. Then all papers on one pile then separated them into categories. Next I filed them away. Later I got into the habit of putting anything I used immediately away.
This process is bound to work as it is simple and shows success. Humans generally favor pleasure over pain. I didn’t set high goals to feel disillusioned, or show resistance to accomplish them. Victorious things happen in baby steps.
Changing an area of your life requires commitment, visualization and the use of stratagem. Reaching your true purpose can be done but if standards are too high anxiety is probable. Using the past as reference is fine, but being stuck there causes depression because you can’t return. So find happiness in the now as it has no apprehension. Say out loud “I’m not what I’ve achieved but how I’m growing”.
My vision is to give my children the business and live half the year in New Zealand and half in Cyprus. I need to change behavior of working on teaching English, and also am working on my coaching skills, if I don’t consciously change daily habits I will be stuck in teaching English for the rest of my life.
A life coach can take you through the scary process of change, and by committing and trusting your coach, fears are illuminated and future dreams are achievable.
Accountability is when someone holds you responsible for your goal similarly; a coach puts faith in you and holds you accountable. If you aren’t held accountable, goals could be mismanaged as you only have to answer to yourself even if the goal is important.
Being accountable, you have 100 fold chance of performing because you don’t want to let the other person down. A coach can help devise steps and work dynamically towards your target giving motivation when the going gets tough.
Most have an inward knowing when they aren’t in line with their true selves, their hectic daily routines doesn’t allow for evaluation of what is exactly wrong. By having an outside observer they’re able to understand what is not working. The outsider can assess strengths and weaknesses and encourage positive change and growth.
This is the coach’s job to set small steps that achieve big results without dismissing any other obligations of their client. They quickly pinpoint destructive habits so the client gets out of their rut and starts living. A coach can use baby steps along with the client that steer them away from their erroneous habits to a more fulfilling life.
If a client tries to change their habits alone they may find that they take massive actions to reach a goal but sometimes end up not performing as well because other issues in their life are not resolved and consequently get into trouble. This is commonly called “the rut”
Empathy is claimed to be one of the major techniques used in coaching. It is concerned with attentiveness and the capability to recognize how you feel, making you safe enough to connect to your coach. Even though it is not exactly sympathy which means feeling what you feel, empathy appreciates how you feel, and does not necessarily up hold your thoughts or approves your feelings and actions.
You can benefit by the coach using empathy as it makes you feel your basic needs are being met. All humans are connected and need to be heard and understood on an emotional and spiritual level especially during this frightening time. You want to be understood so you can live a healthy, self-sufficient life so as to achieve and be able to have confidence to connect to others. It is a basic right of a human to feel love.
Compassion is a product of empathy, and is concerned with aiding your suffering and on a physical, spiritual and emotional level. For many, supporting others is not easy as they do not love themselves enough to actually be able to show compassion. In contrast there are those who give far too much compassion to themselves and not to others, better known as narcissists.
It is vital that a coach is empathetic to liberate you and create the awareness that you are heard, by maintaining eye contact along with using body language and finally being fully present in the session